Blood and Bandages
by WhatifStoryTeller
Summary: Natsuki (Fem!Natsu) doesn't wear a bra for the life of her. This is a big mistake for her, but Gray isn't complaining. Fem!NatsuxGray Gratus Hints of LucyxLoke Oneshot crackfic


Lucy could only stare. Her whole body froze at the sight in front of her. Her cheeks blushed furiously. She could not help but have these reactions when a girl stood in front of her with no shame at her appearance. After what felt like an hour, she finally squealed and jerked backwards, falling onto the ground.

One thought ran through her mind. They were bigger.

"Eh, Lucy?" Natsuki towered over her and felt her forehead. "You got a fever or something?"

"GET A BRA ON, PERVERT!"

She shot back up at the word. "A bra? Hell nah!"

"What do you mean?" The blonde lifted herself up and avoided Natsuki with all her might. She wanted to glare the girl down for doing such actions, but Natsuki was still half-naked and did not look like she cared if she had a bra or even a shirt on. "You have to wear a bra, Natsuki!"

"No, I don't actually." She turned away from her friend and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes were darting around the room, looking for her bandages or her vest before Lucy had a heart attack.

"Are you sure you're not related to Gray?"

Without hesitation, she responded with, "You're not my friend." She pretended to wince at the thought of being related to Gray. She cringed at the thought of even being in any kinds of relations with the stripper. Friend, boyfriend, student, partner, member, you name it. And being related was on top of that list.

"Natsuki!" Lucy squealed once more. She either believed Natsuki's words, or had another thing to nag about.

"Where did I leave my vest?" Natsuki sighed as she scratched her head. Then she brushed a loose strand behind her ears. Her long drench cherry blossom hair flowed against her back and water dripped on the ground.

Lucy started blinking as she saw the connection. "Is that why you wear bandages? As a replacement for a bra?" She gasped, "Oh Michael Jackson! You're so strange!"

"Bras get in the way," she argued as she lifted up Lucy's bed. She smiled as she finally found her vest but her bandages were nowhere to be found. She lifted the fabric over her shoulders and it covered most of her upper body.

"You're not leaving here like that."

"Oh, so sleepover?" Natsuki grinned. She was already falling onto the pink comforter as soon as Lucy's words echoed through the house. "NO!"

Natsuki lifted her head, the softness of the bed already overcome her. She could not move now, not when she was so comfy. "What?!"

Lucy sighed and leaned against her dresser. She was starting to rethink Natsuki's whole gender. Other than the girl's body, Natsuki didn't act like a girl at all. She pulled out a piece of fabric. It was a normal v-neck shirt with a loin dancing on it. Don't ask where she gotten it from. It _totally_ wasn't a gift from Loke. "You can wear one of my shirts, which you have to bring back washed."

By now, Natsuki was starting to worry.

"You are…being really nice? Are you a clone?"

"I'm really starting to get ticked off." She sighed and shook her head. This is what she gets for being nice. "Do you want to borrow one of my bras? Just to test it out?"

"I rather go on a quest with Gajeel." Natsuki didn't stop there either, "Plus, I don't know if Loke used them."

Lucy's teeth gritted together. Her forehead ticked. This was the finally straw.

LUCY KICK!

And then all she saw was darkness…

Natsuki did not know how she was knocked out by Lucy's famous kick. Lucy may be weak but she gotten Natsuki. All she knew was that Lucy threw her outside of her house. Which pretty much meant if she tried going back in there, she would experience more than just a kick…which was not a good thing.

She leaned her back against the brick wall and looked out. She saw the stone blocks, keeping villagers safe from the rushing river, and beyond that was another row of houses. This was why she liked the forest. She wasn't protected by anything and she could do whatever she wanted. Plus, it was only her. She could run from the stream to her house naked and no one would ever see.

At least, she hoped so.

Her finger throb the fabric and she stuck out her tongue; wearing a shirt felt uncomfortable. It only went to her midriff, kinda like her bandages, but it hanged instead of being tighten over her chest. And then she remembered the bit about the bra. A bra would only poke her sides with the wires.

Her eyes stared at the happy loin on front of the shirt. "Loke gave this to her," she snickered, "And she thinks she can keep secrets."

Bras were always a no-go for her. Ever since Glidarts tried to haggle her into wearing one and ended up wearing it himself. And if she was curious about a bra, there was no other older girls in the guild other than Mirajane and Erza, who would always fight. And if Erza wasn't glaring Mira down, she would be scolding her and Gray.

As soon as she thought about the raven haired, she winced.

Gray sucks.

Period.

Indirectly ruining everything in some shape and form. Yeah, that sounded right, she thought to herself. It's all Gray's fault that bras are troublesome.

Bandages were soft. Even though she had problems keeping them there during battles.

She slowly stood up. At least since she only wearing a shirt they had freedom.

In the back of her mind, she couldn't help but think this wasn't the last she was going to hear about this. Knowing Lucy, she will gang up with the other girls in the guild to enforce her new rule. She could already see the line-up in the back of her head. Cana, Mirajane, Erza, Juvia, and Lucy. Those were the toughest girls in the guild, behind Natsuki since she rocks.

Eh, if she made it this long without wearing one, she can do so for the rest of her life. Right?

Wrong.

She was walking through the town with the rushing river to her left. She was only looking straight forward but she saw something on the other side. Her eyes darted towards it. It was an actual person. Well, stripper to be exact.

And the stripper spotted her as well.

This could only end badly.

In front of her was a bridge to get to the other side, the same one that Gray was crossing right now to reach Natsuki.

Great.

"Oi," Gray lifted his hand in some sort of greeting.

"Yo," she did the same.

He stood in front of her as if waiting for her to say something else. Maybe even insult him, but it never came. He scratched his head out of awkwardness. "So, what are you going?" His eyes skirted behind her, looking to see if Lucy or Erza was going to appear. Well, he was mainly looking for Erza. Who wouldn't?

"Going home."

And that's when he realized something was different. "You're wearing a shirt. Wait… did Loke give you this?" In his mind, he was already jumping to conclusions. Loke wasn't one to give gifts carelessly, unless if a certain payment has already been paid.

"Nah, Lucy loaned it to me. _'Make sure you bring it back, washed,'_" she mimicked Lucy's tone and tapped her foot like an angry mother.

Their eyes made contract for a brief second and they both ended up laughing.

It was true.

Loke and Lucy.

And they finally had proof.

All that they needed to do was tell the others, and it would circle around the guild. They could already imagine Lucy's and Loke's reactions.

After chuckling, Gray brushed his hair back. And somehow lost his shirt in the process. Where it ended up, she had no clue. "Loke's going to kick my ass if I say anything."

"Don't worry, wait until tomorrow and everyone will hear. " She saw Gray lifting his eyebrow so she added, "Everyone knows I can't keep a secret. So I can't be blamed."

By now, the two of them were walking together side by side. They were still heading in the direction of Natsuki's house, which Gray did not mind at the moment. He crossed his arms over his head, "Sounds like a plan. Shit, I should have gambled Cana. I would have loved to get back some of my other…tries."

"She still hasn't given back the money from my and Erza's fight."

"Oh, you mean that one-sided beatdown?"

She stopped walking and held up a fist to his face. "I'll show you a one-sided beatdown!"

He started listing off everyone who could beat her in a fight. "Alright, I'll call Erza, Laxus, Mirajane, Glidarts, or even Master." Plus, he had most of their phone numbers. All he needed to do was call them up and they will come running, ready and able to pound Natsuki to a pulp. This was an empty threat of course.

She gritted her teeth. "Damn it, Ice Princess."

"What was that, Squinty Eyes?"

"Stripper."

"Flamebrain."

And their little bicker turned into a fist fight within moments. She ducked when he threw a punch, hitting thin air. She used her arm to knock him onto the ground. She sat on top of him and pinned his arms onto the pavement. Natsuki snickered as she held him there in her grip.

Now, let's be real, if you came across this scene in public, what is your first thought?

Yeah… Exactly.

Those around them started looking away with blushes.

And all that Gray could do was look down where he noticed something.

Natsuki wasn't wearing a bra.

Her boobs bounced down, barely touching his chest with only her thin shirt in between. Her stomach was already touching his own, since the shirt was so short. He had the whole view of them jugs.

And he reacted like any other boy.

Loke had a good choice in shirts, didn't he?

Blood.

It dripped on the pavement.

That was the last thing he saw before his eyes closed.

"YOU PERVERT!"

And that was the last thing he heard.

...

Cana glanced at the door when the Pinky slammed it opened. She flopped down in her regular seat and Cana trotted over. Natsuki wasn't wearing her bonds. She was wearing zipped up vest, a different one from yesterday. In her hand was a plain shirt with blood sprayed on the top.

What?

"Nats-" Cana started to say but Lucy interrupted her.

"My shirt!" She squealed as she pulled the fabric from Natsuki's fingers. "What? Did you get in a fight? How am I suppose to get blood out of this?"

And Juvia was the next to walk over. She was gloomy and laid her head down on the table.

"What's wrong, Water Girl?"

"Gray-sama is in the hospital..."

Cana and Lucy shared a glance, while Natsuki was blushing. She stared at the table, already knowing what Juvia was going to say next.

"Gray-sama had a severe nosebleed..."

The blonde slowly glanced down at her stained shirt and at the blushing Natsuki. Her jaw dropped down as she put two and two together. "I TOLD YOU TO WEAR A BRA!"

**You tell me your thoughts. This had zero aim other than joking about bras and boobs, and then Gray came into place and shit hit the fan. This is rated T because I'm sure teenagers can read this shit and not get offended, and there's no smut for it to be M rated. This is based on Natsuki D's idea (in her review of Glidarts' Talk). Hopefully you enjoyed this little…thingy. **

**Guest: That title is...actually better...**


End file.
